Zombies Don't Cry by Fischer Rusty

Author:Fischer, Rusty [Fischer, Rusty]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-1-60542-077-6
Publisher: Medallion Press
Published: 2011-10-03T04:00:00+00:00

20

Batter Up!

HAZEL SHOWS UP later that night as I’m watching the last of the zombie movies. (I can’t help it; if I rent nine movies, I’ve got to watch all nine—even if they are degrading to zombies, in general and me, in particular).

She doesn’t knock on the door, doesn’t rap on the glass by the door, just uses her key and walks right in. “Break and enter much?” I say from the den, mostly so she’ll know where I am. (As if the screaming victims running from the dead-eyed zombies wouldn’t clue her in.) “Bitch much?”

I snort out some of the Mountain Dew I’ve been sipping.

She flops down on the couch and grabs the cup from me and takes a sip. “Eewwww, where’s the diet?” she asks, a wrinkle in her nose and a gag in her voice.

“I’m not buying diet anymore.” I’m little-white-lying easily now that I’ve done it so often. “All that fake sugar is bad for you. My dad read a study where—”

“Really?” She interrupts, putting the cup down like it contains radioactive waste. “Well, tell him to read the study where high school girls who quit drinking diet soda get fat, lonely, and unpopular. I think he’ll find it highly interesting. Maybe he’ll even share it with you.”

“Hmm.” I sigh, glad to have Hazel back, on my couch, in my life, riding my ass. “And what respected scientific journal would that be in? Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire? Or maybe it’s in volume 8 of I Don’t Know Jack; I’m Just Making All This Up?”

“Uh, yeah, you’ll actually find it in Common Sense for Loser Girls, volume 1.”

“Touché.” I giggle and, at last, she joins me.

We sit comfortably for a minute.

She leans back and turns her head my way. “I’m sorry, Maddy.”

I look back, still smiling. “Sorry for what, Hazel? The part about accusing me of lying to you?” And even as I say the words, I kind of feel guilty for giving her grief when, actually, I totally am lying to her. “Yes.” She groans.

“Or the part about you stiffing me in Home Ec?” “Yes.” She groans again.

“Well, wait, I wasn’t finished yet. Or the part about you not texting me for the last 24 hours?”

“Yes, yes, and whatever else you’ve got stored up for me, yes, I’m sorry for that, too. Maddy, I’m sorry; it’s just—”

“Whoops, just one more. Or the part about you interrupting Stamp when I think, think, he was going to ask me to the Fall Formal?”

“What? You didn’t tell me that. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Uhhm, I did say something—with my eyes. I believe it was, ‘If you don’t get the hell out of here, I will poison your dog, if you ever get one,’ or something along those lines.”

Hazel is rocking back and forth, laughing, “God, I’m so stupid. I really thought I was doing you a favor.”

“What? How? By getting Stamp to not ask me to the Fall Formal?”

“By getting Stamp involved in the Fall Formal. I figured,

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